Founders  

First concocted in December, 2003 at the local VFW hall, four unemployed individuals set out to celebrate the wearing of festive sweaters and gay friends. Thus Turtleneck Christmas was born.



  Sweet William  

Characterized as an obnoxious lush, BW is addicted to solid-colored turtlenecks and queer hats. His use of screaming and cursing as tools of communication stems from an abusive upbringing within the confines of a railcar. He is intimately familiar with the western lines of Norfolk Southern.



  Phil (single)  

After a tumultuous 18 months of confusion, short-lived financial success, physical abuse, and religious anguish, Phil has burned his compilations of romantic poetry and has overcome his former dependence on “women of the night.” Clean, sharp, and young, he is now ready to again devote his love to the next waitress, barkeep, or adult entertainer that is complimentary of his golden mane.



  Ace  

Unfortunately, a Mediterranean venereal disease has left “Ace” with bilateral deafness. His words are soft and monotonous, his speech impaired, but the dreams of all that once was true and innocent still exist behind the blank stare and disheveled appearance. Keep safe, tender prince.



  Bob  

A marketing guru and talent scout, Bob’s use of pastels and hair gel is something of legend. He is an accomplished ballerina and wine connoisseur and prefers that his postman refer to him as “Sire” or “Governor.” Like most flamboyant artists, he lacks many friends






Turtleneck Christmas
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